please please please let me go ask them my questions
it does not have to be all the people
just let me ask one person
let one human have the answer
i am a bad listener
i know where i want to go
but did You tell me not to go there?
my heart aches for a land far from here.
why must i stay
and watch so many choose to die
when those who do not know life
are longing for the cure
i cant even speak right
my words have done more tearing down
than any building up
tighter they pull the fold of the blinds
do You want me to stop speaking?
anger brews from within them
how haughty they become because of my slow speech
they say, "quick quick give me an answer so i can prove you wrong!"
just let them overcome me
and sweep me away.
my heart continues to grown
why does sorrow constantly follow me?
here is a person
look! over there another.
speak
no be quiet!
silence
no yell!
oh back and forth the debate in me
i will be silent
no i wont
i like chaff which the wind blows away
but you and you and you
all of you have shown what lies in your heart
forgive me for being a burden
someday i will be gone from your land
and into another
you will hear no more of me
i hope and pray, that wherever else i go, i will be the servant the King has called me to be
what keeps me hear?
why do i fly not, but shed many tears?
if i cannot communicate to these people
if i am still a child here
what makes me think i am ready to go to another land in this world?
being mature and complete
able to talk to anyone
speaking as a bold lion
no
i am not ready
for i have forgotten the training of my youth
now i must start over
and here i stay
while others refuse to hear me
so i refuse to speak
then nobody sees
oh Father.
forgive us for our stubbornness
let Your Light uncover this darkness that consumes us
Your way is not complicated
yet many follow the ways of the pharisees and sadducees making up stumbling blocks
i will race
you have set me free
i do believe it
so now...though my flesh is afraid...i will speak
give me the words to say
for my thoughts are but a breath
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
dream from march 2009 or april 2008?
tis a dream i had
a while ago
when i think of it
i cant help but stay on my toes....
i stand in a dark valley
strong mighty mountains before me
behind me
the moon shines down
little light fills my surroundings
only enough to create silhouettes
emptiness consumes me
i think it impossible to continue with whatever it was i had to do
suddenly i see a blue and red light
it starts from midway of the mountain
closer
closer still
the base of the mountain it has reached
though i am in the middle of the valley
i make eye contact
cold dark eyes
longing for me
"death" he whispers through his gaze
"death?" i question with my weary eyes
he is gaining ground on me
something tells me to fight
but i wont
his offer of death has paralyzed me
i don't want to be in this agreement
oh how did this scrawny lion find me?
blood drenches from his teeth
he has destroyed the lives of many
i am his next victim
this is not his home
so why is he even here?
death? once more his eyes question
yes. no. yes. no. yes.
confusion
what a terrible time for it to arrive
before he pounces my gaze declares:oh no! no! no!
he leaps into the air
bones and wounds i see along his body
guilt enters me
how dare i not fight
why did i not fight?
is this truly my end?
before a drop of blood from this disgusting weak lion's mouth can come near me
a strong and mighty creature rushes over my head
tackling my enemy down to the ground
a good distance away from me
i look in awe
A Mighty Lion devours the carcass of the weak one
i look for blood on this Lion's jaw
i look for bones of the evil one
no evidence is found
my fears are gone
but oh
what a broken heart i saw
the Lion gazed at me
no words were spoken
yet that look said it all:
why would you ever want to give up
i want to cry
but He stops the tears
follow me
come come hurry
and He begins to run to the top of the mountain
but my legs and feet have become like lead
a tree full grown appears
train tracks too
a train stop
people calling me
melody melody
melody
melody
over and over
i want to scream
i want to kick
why do they call me?
let me go
do not drag me on this train
i must go with Him
no no no
please let me go!
i am pinned on the floor of the train by their constant calling
get off
get off
please let me get off!
i ear the engine start
no!
no! i cannot go with these people
the door shuts and the train starts to move
once more tears begin to form
then a friend who i have not seen in such a long long while comes to me
friend: what's the matter?
me: i'm not supposed to be here.
friend: well there isn't much you can do about that now. look at this map. see all these lands? you must go find those people. then we will go to that mountain.
-end
a while ago
when i think of it
i cant help but stay on my toes....
i stand in a dark valley
strong mighty mountains before me
behind me
the moon shines down
little light fills my surroundings
only enough to create silhouettes
emptiness consumes me
i think it impossible to continue with whatever it was i had to do
suddenly i see a blue and red light
it starts from midway of the mountain
closer
closer still
the base of the mountain it has reached
though i am in the middle of the valley
i make eye contact
cold dark eyes
longing for me
"death" he whispers through his gaze
"death?" i question with my weary eyes
he is gaining ground on me
something tells me to fight
but i wont
his offer of death has paralyzed me
i don't want to be in this agreement
oh how did this scrawny lion find me?
blood drenches from his teeth
he has destroyed the lives of many
i am his next victim
this is not his home
so why is he even here?
death? once more his eyes question
yes. no. yes. no. yes.
confusion
what a terrible time for it to arrive
before he pounces my gaze declares:oh no! no! no!
he leaps into the air
bones and wounds i see along his body
guilt enters me
how dare i not fight
why did i not fight?
is this truly my end?
before a drop of blood from this disgusting weak lion's mouth can come near me
a strong and mighty creature rushes over my head
tackling my enemy down to the ground
a good distance away from me
i look in awe
A Mighty Lion devours the carcass of the weak one
i look for blood on this Lion's jaw
i look for bones of the evil one
no evidence is found
my fears are gone
but oh
what a broken heart i saw
the Lion gazed at me
no words were spoken
yet that look said it all:
why would you ever want to give up
i want to cry
but He stops the tears
follow me
come come hurry
and He begins to run to the top of the mountain
but my legs and feet have become like lead
a tree full grown appears
train tracks too
a train stop
people calling me
melody melody
melody
melody
over and over
i want to scream
i want to kick
why do they call me?
let me go
do not drag me on this train
i must go with Him
no no no
please let me go!
i am pinned on the floor of the train by their constant calling
get off
get off
please let me get off!
i ear the engine start
no!
no! i cannot go with these people
the door shuts and the train starts to move
once more tears begin to form
then a friend who i have not seen in such a long long while comes to me
friend: what's the matter?
me: i'm not supposed to be here.
friend: well there isn't much you can do about that now. look at this map. see all these lands? you must go find those people. then we will go to that mountain.
-end
chains around my breath
one line
over and over my lips repeat
my heart aches
my heart aches
each breath i take
sorrow fills my lungs
oh to right all these wrongs
who is to blame?
what is the cause?
i find no one
so punish me
all those small stumbles
surely they caused this great fall
if only if only
i should of
i could of
i would of
but i did not
were i to be perfect
should it be the key
could it have opened the rusted doors
would we all be free?
"who is that orphan wondering the streets?"
oh my Father!
do i so little resemble You that no one knows Whose i am?
i cry out to you
my lungs and heart can't take this pain
please heal me!
that key
that rusted door
they are no more
why do i scar myself to remember
the pain is poison
slowly it stops my heart
slowly i fall out of your shadow
into the darkness of the cold bitter streets
no one looks to me to find You
this
this is the worst
to not be known as Your child
why must the lies be so loud?
i love your "still small voice"
yes my God is strong and mighty
but were He to speak as loud as the lies
i would be crushed
but crushed i am not
the lies are like a thick frost on my bones
Lord may your fire consume me
You have rescued me from the frozen cobble streets
into the rich open valley you take me.
the valley of sorrow
the valley of death
i fear not
for i cannot
grow so long as i have chains around my breath
the lies will be silenced
and even if they continue to scream
i will listen to the still small voice
that gave me breath to sing
sing a new song everyday
every moment
"there's within my heart a melody
Jesus whispers sweet and low:
'fear not,[daughter], peace be still! I AM with thee in life's ebb and flow'
Jesus Jesus Jesus!
sweetest name i know!
fills my heart with laughter
keeps me singing as i go."
over and over my lips repeat
my heart aches
my heart aches
each breath i take
sorrow fills my lungs
oh to right all these wrongs
who is to blame?
what is the cause?
i find no one
so punish me
all those small stumbles
surely they caused this great fall
if only if only
i should of
i could of
i would of
but i did not
were i to be perfect
should it be the key
could it have opened the rusted doors
would we all be free?
"who is that orphan wondering the streets?"
oh my Father!
do i so little resemble You that no one knows Whose i am?
i cry out to you
my lungs and heart can't take this pain
please heal me!
that key
that rusted door
they are no more
why do i scar myself to remember
the pain is poison
slowly it stops my heart
slowly i fall out of your shadow
into the darkness of the cold bitter streets
no one looks to me to find You
this
this is the worst
to not be known as Your child
why must the lies be so loud?
i love your "still small voice"
yes my God is strong and mighty
but were He to speak as loud as the lies
i would be crushed
but crushed i am not
the lies are like a thick frost on my bones
Lord may your fire consume me
You have rescued me from the frozen cobble streets
into the rich open valley you take me.
the valley of sorrow
the valley of death
i fear not
for i cannot
grow so long as i have chains around my breath
the lies will be silenced
and even if they continue to scream
i will listen to the still small voice
that gave me breath to sing
sing a new song everyday
every moment
"there's within my heart a melody
Jesus whispers sweet and low:
'fear not,[daughter], peace be still! I AM with thee in life's ebb and flow'
Jesus Jesus Jesus!
sweetest name i know!
fills my heart with laughter
keeps me singing as i go."
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